Councils
"My case is: dating a married man for almost a year. We work in the same place, and even today he said he loves me. But sometimes plays jokes, saying he is infatuated with me, who can not leave me, and he misses me. The problem is that he never says what he wants, if you ever want to leave his wife to stay with me, or something, whatever! "
One user had this question and decided to respond in the form of advice ... Many women today are in the same situation and do not know how to act. Being "the other" is cumbersome, complicated and raises expectations too much. I will not here enter into the moral question of being "the other", whether it is correct or not, or write about the character of the man who betrayed her.
Meet a married person and engage with it is a very difficult decision. If you already know that he is married, resolve to get involved is to know what will be left with the crumbs with the phone hidden, with secret meetings and the time that remains on his agenda. In addition, you have to respect and accept the situation of being "the other".
The problem is that "other" is a woman like any other, and it has feelings, wants to start a family and be a man of his own. Thus the dilemma: if he will drop the "official" to be with me? The big problem is that most men will not leave his wife. They are extremely comfortable with this situation. It has two and when you need it.
Therefore, you need to align expectations. Need to talk and know what to expect from this relationship, unless the fact that sooner or later be discovered. At that moment, two things can happen: he leave his wife and be with you (rare) or beg for forgiveness eternal wife and swear you'll never see (most common).
You who are the other must be wondering why it is more common. And the answer is simple: if he wanted to stick to you, it would have done. The way that relationships are today, it is difficult to get a husband at home just for the children. Maybe you can hold it is the lack of money to support the two houses. But if this is not the reason, it is a huge chance that he does not know what you want or that still has real feelings for his wife.
It's up to you think if that's what you want for your future, a man committed that will not give you everything you want. Do not dream it will be yours, talk about him. But mostly, talk to yourself and find out if this is what you want for you, if this condition will be happy and especially if you're willing to take any risks.
There is also the case of a woman enter into a relationship without knowing he was married, and to discover, their suffering will be much higher. Has been involved with someone with huge expectations and betting chips in the future, and discovering that it is "the other" will have two options: accept the condition or throw it aside. Typically, women who discover after they end up involved preferring to leave the relationship because they feel used and betrayed.
So the advice is: love themselves above all, respect to get the world to give it to them and seek their dreams and happiness. Do not expect a married man go give it to you!
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